Smile On

Tell me there’s not a little more to this than meets the old eyeball. We’re talking about the latest assault on the Mona Lisa, this time by a Russian. And isn’t it hard not to automatically add the word anarchist? Anyway:

The unnamed woman brought an English-made mug in to the museum on the first Sunday of the month, when admission was free.

Okay, even bypassing the fact that this person didn’t even have name, there’s still a couple of things. First, what’s with the free admission to the Louvre? We’re paying $9.00 to see Underworld: The Rise of the Lycans down at the mall, and the French let you in to see the Mona Lisa por nada?  And then there’s this suspicious detail of the  English-made mug. Does this smack of James Bond by way of Harry Potter, or what?

She hurled it at the painting and it shattered against the protective bulletproof glass, leaving the masterpiece undamaged.

Yeah, like she didn’t know it’s totally bomb-proof and everything? How likely is that?

“The visitor was immediately apprehended by museum guards and she gave herself up willingly,” David Madec, a Louvre spokesman, told the Guardian.

So, you’ve got this Russian-without-a-name, some kind of supernatural armor-piercing English mug and now, out of nowhere, this Madec guy. Who I’m pretty sure was in The DaVinci Code. Although he could’ve changed his name by now. It’s pretty easy to do in France; that’s what I hear.

“Staff cleared up the broken pieces of the mug, but there was no more than a moment’s disruption and the room wasn’t closed. There was no damage to the painting.”

And now all the evidence just conveniently goes bye-bye. Cleared up in mere moments. Probably by guys in haz-mat suits, but like they’re going to tell you that.

The woman, described as “visibly upset”, later told police she was frustrated that she had not been granted French citizenship. She underwent psychiatric testing and was released.

Curiouser and curiouser, n’est pas?  Who, I ask you, would actually want to be French? And if this Russian anar…  I mean, if this alleged suspect of presumed Russian heritage did in actual substantiated fact want French citizenship, would she ever in a million years have passed any psychiatric screening?

No. Freaking. Way.

To conclude, I leave you with one final thought. If this whole thing doesn’t smell (as they say in the White House) comme un poisson, then I don’t know my poissons.


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